the lazy student's guide to surviving finals.

finals week.

the week where nothing is normal, all college norms are temporarily suspended, and no one gets quite enough sleep.

(we had a giddy laugh about this at 2 am the other night...)

i decided there are three key rules in surviving finals week.

1. NEVER study with friends

2. forget any semblance of normality

3. c's get degrees!

if you can remember these three rules, then no worries, finals week will be a breeze!

1. NEVER study with friends

my roommate (sara) and i usually go to bed around midnight, as we both have absurdly early morning classes. same with our neighbors, marina and jessie. generally speaking, we are not exactly night owls. this week... has been a little different. we've been hosting late night focus groups. and by focus groups, i mean the exact opposite. studying with friends is only a good idea if you have no expectations of attaining decent grades (if that is the case, get out of here. go ahead and scroll down to point number three, because you're not welcome here) or if you have an iron will and the attention span of a rock (they have good attention spans, right?).

our study groups immediately dissolve into chaos. maybe it's just the four of us, but studying together takes us down a road to unproductive-ville. in which we are granted permanent citizenship. mostly we end up talking about boys, school, boys, summer plans, high school, boys and food. and there's a lot of facebooking involved. moral of the story: studying is acceptable only in the following conditions: solo, twosies or a group ruled by a dictator/oldest child. if none of those applies to your study group, ABANDON SHIP- you're just going to drown in unrelated conversations and haphazard tomfoolery.

i guess this is another method...

2. forget any semblance of normality.

things get crazy during finals. people lose inhibitions, stop caring about classes and behave differently than usual. due to all our late night "study" sessions, we've become a bit nocturnal. yesterday, i left to study at nine. sara was sleeping. i came back for my wallet at eleven. sara was sleeping. i took a final at 2:30 and came back to the dorm around four. sara was still sleeping. now i don't think she spent the whole seven hours asleep, but that's not the point. later, while i was out, sara went to talk to jessie and marina and found them fast asleep in their rooms. she decided we should try this new thing: study during the day, sleep at night.

welcome to weirdville, where things are weird:

• there's a girl in our hall who is good people*. she's kind, caring and genuine. but violate finals week study hours by talking too loud in the hall and things get real. fast.
• technically, the hall lights are supposed to go off at midnight. and usually, our r.a. turns them off at like eleven. this week, they've definitely been on until three or four every night.
• on my way to a final in the JFSB, i definitely noted the presence of a sleeping student on about every other bench in the main hall.

3. c's get degrees!

let's be real here- this close to a break, can you honestly forget that once it's all over and done with, you get to leave campus and forget about school? i know i've been so anxious to finish, i've come to the desperate conclusion that grades don't even matter anymore! how bad can it get, right? well that might be taking things a bit far. but the point is, c's DO get degrees. expensive degrees, as c's don't get scholarships, but degrees nonetheless. this isn't high school- as long as you're paying tuition, no one cares about grades. this motto has been keeping me sane all week. well that, and the fact that i've been taking regular "study breaks" to watch lord of the rings. i do love me some study breaks.

the moral of the story: don't freak out. it'll be over before you know it, and you can go back to playing super mario in class and sleeping through american heritage. just remember that there is a cloud to every silver lining. in this case, a break from school and a chance to empty our brains for next semester! hooray! i have yet to hear of finals week casualties, so i assume everything is ok. it is only wednesday, there are still two more testing days so i wish everyone the best luck in finals! good luck, i love you all and don't smerf up your tests.

-katie

hang in there buddy- almost done!
i know, this doesn't really fit in anywhere, but it was too darn cute to delete

*yes, i meant good people. folks, it's a phrase. and a real one that i didn't make up.